A Day Late & A Dollar Short.. pt.1

I tried to ignore the shrill ringing off the phone. It was threatening to wake me and it succeeded. I groaned and got up to answer it.

“Yeah?” I shook my head to clear the grogginess.

“Ciobhan.” The male voice on the other end spoke. I cringed. I hoped against all hope I wouldn’t have to speak to him for some time.

“Yup.” I muttered.

“What’s up?” I guess he hadn’t figured out I was ignoring him.

“Nothing. What do you want?” I figured I’d be blunt. (That normally worked.)

“I haven’t seen you in a while, I was wondering if you’re OK.”

“I’m touched. I’ve been busy.” I spoke quickly. I knew my voice had an edge of sarcasm and I didn’t care.

“What’s wrong? You ok?” He picked up, how smart.

“I’m fine Janssen. Listen, I really don’t need a babysitter.” I hung up. Hopefully, he’d take the hint and leave me alone. My phone rang again. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. I knew it was him, so I didn’t even bother to answer. I went back to bed and buried myself under the covers. I needed to sleep. I’d been so tired lately, even with the regular eight hours those stupid doctors recommended, I was still yawning on my feet every day.

Five minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I groaned. If it was Janssen, I’d shit, I don’t know what I would do. I haven’t spoken to him since three weeks ago. The knock on the door persisted. I got up and opened it. Sure enough, Mr. Debonair was standing on the other side. I made to close the door in his face and he stopped me.

“What do you want Janssen?” I said angrily, I placed my body in the doorway, I couldn’t push the door any further nor could he come inside.

"What is with the attitude, Ciobhan? You’ve been bitchin’ for a while. What's wrong with you?” he asked.

“Kiss my ass Janssen, and leave me alone.” I tried to push the door close. He stopped me. I bit my lip and glared at him angrily.

“No. See I don’t know what the f*** is your problem, but you’re obviously taking it out on me. Now unless you tell me what has your drawers in a bunch, stop bitching at me.” He seemed angrier by the second. I wasn't fazed. I just stood and glared at him.

“My problem? Fine, I’ll tell you. You. Satisfied?” I said to him, my voice flat.

“What?”

I crossed my hands over my chest and looked at him. Did this dude think I really was that stupid? What am I? A blonde? I bit my lip in anger.

“Listen. I don’t need for you to mess me up any more than I already am. Yeah I liked you, we messed around a few times, that’s all it was. A good f***. But when your black ass turns around and starts messing with Lissa, especially knowing how our relationship is, that’s messed up.” I watched his reaction. Confusion, anger, frustration, defeat; they all flashed across his face in a matter of seconds. I really wanted to hear what his response would be. Then again, I didn’t.

“I have to go to work. Leave.” I said to him.

“Ciobhan, how long have you known me?” he said.

“Oh please, don’t even try that. We’re friends. I listened to you bitch about what’s-her-face messing with your feelings; I know you got my back; but I’m not going to believe every lie you ever told me. I almost believed you when you said you wanted us to get together. I let my pussy think for me instead of my head and that almost got me in trouble. Now please, do me a favour, let me live with whatever amount of dignity I have left to deal with my life. I have to go to work.” I pushed him out the doorway and closed my door.

I walked to the bathroom, my legs shaking. I barely made it to the toilet when I threw up. I sat on the floor of the bathroom for a few minutes, before I remembered I had to go to work. I groaned, got up and showered.

After I got dressed, I grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the freezer, locked my apartment door and walked to my car. I tensed when I saw him standing beside it.

“Are you ever going to listen to me?” he said watching me walk to the driver’s side.

“What for? So you can lie again? I’ll save you the trouble. Forget it.” I got in my car and drove away.

At the store, I clocked in and went to my desk. Nycole hadn’t gotten in yet. I cursed as I remembered I was supposed to pick her up. I took out my cell-phone and dialed her number when I saw her walk in, phone in hand.

“You better have a good reason for forgetting me.” She snapped. I followed her to the worker’s lounge and sat down. She looked at my face and immediately softened.

“You look like you’re about to cry. It’s ok. I got here fine, just took me longer, but I got here. Don’t cry. If they ask me why I’m late I’m blaming it on you though.”
How could I tell her why I was crying? She’d just say ‘I told you so’ and walk off to work. I sighed. “I’m just tired, is all.”

“Come on. The earlier we get working, the more hours we get paid for.” She grinned and pushed me out the doors. The next four hours before lunch were hell. Janssen kept calling the office, but I was always too busy or not at my counter. Then he came by the store and sat in the waiting area. He’d never approach but he never left. Nycole was becoming suspicious. Janssen and I were usually alright. Never a dull moment, and two of the most stubborn people she’d ever met. She had warned me not to get close to him, because she knew how he was, but I guess my libido and my mind had other plans in mind. Shit happens.
At 11:30, he left. I sighed in relief and went to the back room to use the bathroom. A few of my co-workers had gone on break and were eating lunch. I caught one whiff of a double-whopper and wanted to barf. I went to the restroom, did my business and brushed my teeth. When I came out, Nycole was standing at the door, her hands crossed on her chest and that look on her face.

“What the hell is going on?” she said. She was younger than me, but she was a whole lot taller.

“What do you mean?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair.

“Janssen has been here all day, but you haven't spoken to him. He’s been calling all morning - you haven't spoken to him. Now he’s outside standing beside your car, and you’re in here throwing up. Run your fingers through your hair one more time and I will knock you over.” She said without taking a breath. I put my hands by my side.
I looked out the restroom to the lounge behind, my co-workers ignorant to our argument. Then I looked Nycole square in the eyes.

“We had a fight.” I said slowly.

“So? Don’t you guys always quarrel?” she shrugged.

“This was more than that. I got fed up with the lies and confronted him about it.” I braced myself for her reaction.

“See, I knew this would happen. One of you would get too attached to this foolishness and be unable to handle it. How the hell are you going to get yourself out of this now?” she narrowed her eyes at me.

From behind her I saw someone lift a burger and I wanted to throw up again. I turned and went back to the cubicle.

“Ciobhan, did you get your period yet?” Nycole asked.

I froze. In my head I tried to calculate the days of the month and realized my period hadn’t come when it was supposed to, or three weeks later. I didn’t really have a normal cycle but my it was usually on time.

“F***.” my voice came muffled from the bathroom.

“You shouldn't have been doing that, thats what got you into this in the first place. Come on.” Nycole took my hand and walked with me outside the doors. Janssen got up when we exited the store and walked over to us. She felt me tense.

“You, come with us.” Nycole said. Janssen looked over at me, I ignored him, now I really didn’t want to see him.

“Where are we going?" he asked. I remained silent.

“We are going to the pharmacy.” Nycole said and silenced him with a look. I thanked her for that silently, and I cursed her too.

At the pharmacy, Nycole marched me over to buy a home pregnancy kit. Janssen looked at me. I refused to look at him, but I could feel his eyes boring into my back. I bought the kit, walked back to the store and to the restroom, ignoring both Janssen and Nycole on the way. What was I going to do if I were pregnant?

The few minutes waiting for that test was hell. I sat on a chair, my back straight, and my eyes steady on the window out to where the customers sat waiting to be dealt with. When Nycole came over to me, she was quiet. I looked at her.

“I want to go home.” I spoke in a monotone, afraid to even ask. She nodded.

She told our supervisor I was coming down with something - (yea, a baby is something!) and she was driving me home. Outside, Janssen was still standing beside my car. I groaned and walked over.

“You know I never realized exactly how stubborn you were. What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you have better things to do than to hang around me all day?” I seethed.

“Ciobhan, I need to talk to you.” Janssen looked even more serious than Nycole. I cut my eyes at him and went around to open my car door. Nycole stopped me and took the keys from me.

“Get in the back, Janssen you drive.” She threw him the keys.

“What’s wrong with her?” he asked, looking at Nycole helping me in the backseat. She came in and made me lay my head in her lap.

“Just drive home Janssen, we’ll talk when we get there.”

At my apartment, Lissa was home. I sat on my bed, pulling off my loafers. Janssen sat on the sofa, looking at me.

“Quit staring at me,” I snapped at him.

“Then tell me what’s wrong.”

I laughed harshly. “Didn’t you hear what I said this morning?”

“Tell me whats the matter.” He said, getting up to help me to take my jacket off. I shrugged away and glared at him.

“What? You never stopped me from helping you when you were sick before, so why now?” he said angrily.

“What’s going on?” Lissa came out of her room.

“Great. Join the party. No, wait. I’ll leave. You guys have fun.” I got up, and fainted. Right into Janssen’s arms.

When I came to, Nycole was sitting beside me, stroking my hair. I gave my eyes a chance to adjust to the light and they focused on Janssen. I moaned. I tried to sit up.

“Hell no, don’t you dare try to get up.” Nycole said sternly.

“What happened?” I put my hand to my head and moaned again. “Why do I hear a jackhammer?”

“You fainted. Right into Janssen’s welcoming arms.” Lissa said. I looked at her; she was sitting on the armrest on the other side of the sofa, looking smug.

“Are you pregnant Ciobhan?” she asked bluntly. I looked over at her. Was I? I looked at Nycole. She nodded. I groaned again. Now what?

“Whose is it?” she asked.

“I’ve only been screwing one person for the past year. Guess who?” I seethed at her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Janssen said.

“I never knew until today. Besides, what do you care?” I snapped at him. I wanted to hurt him, and I did. He cringed at my remark, and I felt a pang of guilt. I quickly pushed it away.

“That’s cold. We’ve been friends long enough; I thought you knew me by now.” He said his voice flat. He was right. He was a nice guy. And a good friend. But he was also one of those guys my mother warned me about.

“What are you going to do?” Nycole asked. I looked outside my window. What was I going to do? I never really looked at my life with a child in it. I was 22, senior in university, with a bank account that could barely sustain me, yet alone me and a child. I was working my way through university during the summer and it took all my mother had to support me and my younger brother and sister in prep school.

“Are you going to keep it?” Lissa asked me.

“Do I have a say in this?” Janssen said angrily.

I opened my mouth to retort and Nycole silenced me, “It is his child too.” I looked at him, his face taut. I looked away and nodded.

“What will you do about school? Are you crazy? You can’t attend pregnant.” Lissa said. The white girl was acting more blonde by the minute and it was pissing me off.

“I have had just about enough of you.” I snapped at her and stood up. She jumped. “I’ve gone through the past few weeks getting the silent treatment from you. F*** you. You always said you were my friend, yet you are the biggest hypocrite of all. You knew I liked Drew and you just went ahead and played him; screwed him behind my back. I got over that and moved on. Then I told you I had feelings for Janssen and what did you do? You screwed him too. I’m gonna need you to hear me loud right about now - get out of my apartment. I don’t give a damn what you wanna say, where you gonna go, or who you going to; but I’ve had just about enough of your bullshit. Just get the f*** out.”
I had every right to be mad.

I looked at Janssen. “You think I didn’t know huh? You're the same one who told me that I should be a detective, remember? Nothing goes past me? How’d it go? Did you seduce her the same way you did me?” I glared at him.

“Or did you just go ahead and throw your jacked up, skinny vagina in his face? Skinny women are evil. Do you really hate me that much?” I turned on Lissa.

“Hey, I’m skinny too.” Nycole protested. I glared at her. She tried to put a hand on my shoulder and I stopped her.

“I’m tired of people thinking I’m a dumb or too stupid to realize all the mess in my life. Now I’m pregnant by a man who’d put his dick in any woman that came his way, and dissed by someone who I actually called a friend. Whatever the hell else could go wrong?” My eyes blazed.

“I’m leaving. Y’all have fun.” I got up and grabbed the car keys from the table. Nycole tried to stop me again and I shoved her hand away. I held up my hands to stop Janssen from coming towards me. “I don’t need to hear or see you right about now so get out of my way.”
Where I was going I had no idea but I left.

I drove, my head full of thoughts yet I could not think. I parked the car at the park and sat on the hood. I sat there by myself for a few minutes trying to sift through the mass of thoughts in my head. I was annoyed, angry, tired, scared ... I didn’t know what my next move would be, and I was literally too scared to even call my mother. I’d let her down, and although I knew she’d forgive me, that was still no excuse for what she’d say or do when I told her.

50 facts about men & women

OK.
So I got this from another site, and I thought it was simply hilarious .. I just had to pass it on .. hope y'all enjoy it too!!

Rita Rudner's 50 facts about men.

1.  Men like to barbecue.  Men will cook if danger is involved.
2.  Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
    They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3.  If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first
    few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom.  Most
    of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
4.  Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich"
    usually cancels out the nice of "bald."
5.  Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.  In a world
    where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
6.  Men are very confident people.  My husband is so confident that when
    he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he
    can help his team.  If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players
    from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get
    off the phone in case they call him.
7.  If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during
    play-off season.
8.  Men like phones with lots of buttons.  It makes them feel important.
9.  Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning.  Not
    being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
10.  All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
11.  The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can
    ever care about anyone else.
12.  Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public.  They can learn
    in private; in public they have to know.
13.  Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
14.  All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.  I sleep with one under my
    pillow, instead of a gun.
15.  A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner.  These men usually
    have jobs and bathe.
16.  Men love watches with multiple functions.  My husband has one that is
    a combination address book, telescope and piano.
17.  All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship."  These
    seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
18.  Men are sensitive in strange ways.  If a man has built a fire and the
    last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
19.  Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to
    get a bikini wax.
20.  All men think that they're nice guys.  Some of them are not.  Contact
    me for a list of names.
21.  Men don't get cellulite.  God might just be a man.
22.  Men have an easier time buying bathing suits.  Women have two types:
    depressing and more depressing.  Men have two types: nerdy and not
    nerdy.
23.  Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes
    out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable
    heaters that snore.
24.  Women take clothing much more seriously than men.  I've never seen a
    man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me
    out of here.  There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
25.  Most men hate to shop.  That's why the men's department is usually on
    the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
26.  If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more
    types of lettuce, he is serious.
27.  If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a)
    got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in
    for a nasty surprise.  The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on
    cocoons and butterflies.
28.  Men own basketball teams.  Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter
    and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
29.  No man is charming all of the time.  Even Cary Grant is on record
    saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
30.  When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
31.  When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
32.  Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
33.  Men are less sentimental than women.  No man has ever seen the movie
    THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
34.  Most women are introspective: "Am I in love?  Am I emotionally and
    creatively fulfilled?"  Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win?
    How's my car?"
35.  If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget...
    he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to
    call you.
36.  Men hate to lose.  I once beat my husband at tennis.  I asked him,
    "Are we going to have sex again?"  He said, "Yes, but not with each
    other."
37.  Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it
    out of sight of women.
38.  Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem.
    "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a
    challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love
    you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes
    they leave skid marks.
39.  Men accept compliments much better than women do.  Example: "Mitch,
    you look great."  Mitch:"Thanks."  On the other side:"Ruth, you look
    great." Ruth: "I do?  Must be the lighting."
40.  Impulse buying is not macho.  Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
41.  Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
42.  Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for
    a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
43.  Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because
    their clothes all button and zip in the front.  Women's dresses usually
    button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but
    we also need men to help us get dressed.
44.  Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheros.
    Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
45.  When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she
    will assume she has gained weight.  When a man tries something from
    his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
46.  Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.  With female
    menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes.  Male menopause - you get
    to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
47.  Men forget everything; women remember everything.
48.  That's why men need instant replays in sports.  They've already forgotten
    what happened.
49.  Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
50.  All men would still really like to own a train set.



Here's the most complete women's facts:

AJ's 50+ facts about women.



1. Women love to shop.  It is the one area of the world where they feel
  like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain.  The question of "need" is irrelevant,
  so don't bother pointing it out.  Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear.  Don't question the racks of clothes
  in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry.  And they won't do it alone unless they know you can
  hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort
  to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk.  Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to
  fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
  That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do.  This is because sex is more
  physical for men and more emotional for women.  Just knowing that the
  man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs.  Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
  there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets.  They eat away at them from the inside.  And
   they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or
   three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups.  It gives them a chance
   to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's
   doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys.  Men understand that they
   wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in
   the shower.

16. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

17. Women don't understand the appeal of sports.  Men seek entertainment
   that allows them to escape reality.  Women seek entertainment that
   reminds them of how horrible things *could* be. 

18. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of
   clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day
   trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like
   wearing each day.

19. Women brush their hair *before* bed.

20. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea
   about how she'll be in bed.

21. Women are paid less than men, except for Modeling.

22. Women are *never* wrong. Apologizing is the mans responsibility, "It's
   there in the bible". hmmm who was it that gave Adam the apple?

23. Women do *not* know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't
   stick?"

24. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet.

25. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437.  A
   man would not be able to identify most of these items.

26. Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
   looking, men kick cats.

27. Women love to talk on the phone.  A woman can visit her girlfriend for
   two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they
   will talk for three hours.

28. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
   garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. 

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall
asleep
   afterwards.

30. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of
   getting lost using a shortcut.

31. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

32. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.  (Or at least men think it
   means that. PMS also stands for Punish My Spouse.

33. The first naked man woman see is "Ken".

34. Women are looking for that one man to satisfy their every want and need;
   Men are looking for every woman to satisfy that one want and need.

35. Women are insecure about their weight, butt and breast-size.

36. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand
   turn.

37. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language
   than it does in man-language.

38a  All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it.

38b  All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it.

39. If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop, you
   can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

41. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet
   cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay
up
   thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys.  (which gets them in more
   trouble)

42. Women never check to see if the lid is up.  They seem to prefer taking a
   flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they
   "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it
themselves.

43. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting.  This will get men
   arrested.

44. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims
   to the contrary.  You don't see womens trampling over Tom Cruise to get to
   Gilbert Gottfried do you?

45. Sex allows women to do three of their favorite things:
   1) Telling men they're doing it wrong;  "Not _there!_"
   2) Demanding extra attention; "You can't stop yet!"
   3) Martyring themselves; " That's all right, maybe next
time..."

46. It's OK for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don't see
   straight men dancing together.

47. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet,
   taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

48. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless
   they really have 5 pounds to gain.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go
   out and spend more time checking out other women.

50. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women'll always
   catch men checking out other women.

51. The most embarrissing thing for women is to find another woman
   wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say:
   "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!" 

To be Continued....

Sand vs. Stone

People actually read this ..
Wow ..

So I was reading my email the other day and I came across an email from a friend ages ago!! Like 1999 .. LOL! I sent it back to her, and I was like, seriously .. "you remember this?"

She sent me back a reply..
"LOL! You really keep your mail this long? OK, you're weird, but I never really remembered it.
Matter of fact, I think I gonna print it out and post it up, something to remember.. LOL!

By the way, we still on for Thursday? Mr. Bachelor wants to meet again..
Laters .. "

She & I have been friends - in passing - just over 5 years now.. and we met under dubious circumstances, i thought she was proud, self-centred and too pretty for her own good. And then I met another side of her which proved .. I WAS RIGHT! But she had every reason to be. She had her son when she was 16, she grew up without her father, and her son suffers the same faith, she works and she goes to school, and she's been hurt in love too often.

Putting all that aside, and I know it may sound 'majorly cliched', but thats what makes her who she is. She's one of the few women who know that staying strong no matter what WILL make people hate you, but don't give a damn! After all, ain't nobody helping you live your life but you.. and if they got a problem with it, then damn .. thats THEIR problem.

Katt Williams says it best - and let me tell you, this brotha says a LOT of things, usually have me in stictches, especially last night on HBO's The Pimp Chronicles, Pt. 1, I nearly died laughing!

But on a real tho .. he said that if a woman has 16 people hating on her because she does what she does - she better get number 17 hating on her before Christmas. People are gonna ALWAYS watch what you do, and if you keep doing you and they have a problem with it, SCREW EM .. Cuz at the end of the day, they're still hating on you, while you chilling with your man, your children or your mama, and your'e happy doing that..

And Tyler Perry as Madea - Lord knows this man has a front row seat to my heart's affairs, and he's good at putting people's feelings into words, and he's said many a thing I've been tempted to say but at the risk of offending too many people, I've kept my mouth shut - he gave me some solid advice in his play Madea Goes To Jail.

Now I don't give a damn, if y'all wanna say I take movies too seriously.. as someone always having a love affair with words, stories, poetry and music, movies simply presents a medium where all that is thrown in the mix. Life and movies always on the other side of the road, but there comes a rare opportunity when you have the chance to actually see it all mesh as one. Tyler Perry was lucky enough to get the hang of it.

In his play, Jail, the main character (I don't want to say Madea, cuz albeit a genuine representative of so many Black grandmas around, Tyler Perry is the real shitznit behind it all!) says that some people can be put in the category of trees.

Some are like the leaves on a tree, they're like the weather, constantly changing and you never know when they'll leave, and they have no real benefit but to give shade now and then, eventually withering away..

Then there are those are like branches on the tree - they seem sturdy and strong, but if you go too far out they'll break and leave you hanging or simply make you fall..

Then there are the roots of the tree - no one has to know that they know you, they don't need to be seen, but if they weren't there then the tree couldn't survive. The roots are there to hold the tree up, provide support and nutrients and give to the tree - they don't want or need anything in return.

How lucky am I that I've been blessed to know a few roots? I've known too many leaves and enough branches that I just have to take the good with the bad.. But if the few roots weren't there to give me whatever support i needed, then I'd be just as good as one of those leaves you see blowing around bout the place outside ..

So, let me welcome myself back .. and people, get ready for quite a ride ..
This is why I decided to post tis entry today..

Sand & Stone..

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE ! AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE I T DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

SEND THIS TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET.

I JUST DID.

In All Ways A Woman .. - Maya Angelou

In All Ways A Woman

In my young years I took pride in the fact that luck was called a lady. In fact, there were so few public acknowledgments of the female presence that I felt personally honored whenever nature and large ships were referred to as feminine. But as I matured, I began to resent being considered a sister to a changeling as fickle as luck, as aloof as an ocean, and as frivolous as nature. The phrase "A woman always has the right to change her mind" played so aptly into the negative image of the female that I made myself a victim to an unwavering decision. Even if I made an inane and stupid choice, I stuck by it rather than "be like a woman and change my mind."

Being a woman is hard work. Not without joy and even ecstasy, but still relentless, unending work. Becoming an old female may require only being born with certain genitalia, inheriting long-living genes and the fortune not to be run over by an out-of-control truck, but to become and remain a woman command the existence and employment of genius.

The woman who survives intact and happy must be at once tender and tough. She must have convinced herself, or be in the unending process of convincing herself, that she, her values, and her choices are important. In a time a nd world where males hold sway and control, the pressure upon women to yield their rights-of-way is tremendous. And it is under those very circumstances that the woman's toughness must be in evidence.

She must resist considering herself a lesser version of her male counterpart. She is not a sculptress, poetess, authoress, Jewess, Negress, or even (now rare) in university parlance a rectoress. If she is the thing, then for her own sense of self and for the education of the ill-informed she must insist with rectitude in being the thing and in being called the thing.

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but a woman called by a devaluing name will only be weakened by the misnomer. She will need to prize her tenderness and be able to display it at appropriate times in order to prevent toughness from gaining total authority and to avoid becoming a mirror image of those men who value power above life, and control over love.

It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times. It has been said that laughter is therapeutic and amiability lengthens the life span. Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory.

Another confidence booster for me.. it helps - no it reminds me, that as long as I love myself on the inside on not depend on others to.. Thanks Maya Angelou


Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

I love this scene.. something that makes you believe fairy tales really can come true..
and that poem by Maya Angelou.. this woman has more than a way with word .. she is a muse ..

blood rose

I've become fascinated with this picture .. don't know why.

LET IT GO!!

Let it go for 2007
By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!

If you! have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
LET IT GO!!!

Still I Rise ..

by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Nappturality..

To all my Black sistas out there .. i don't know bout y;all .. but i been tired of my permed hair for a minute now, and i've finally decided to let freedom reign .. since septermber 12, 2006 .. i am now officially wearing dreads .. bradelocz to be exact ..

My hair is not the faith mind you .. not a rastafarian .. i'm embracing my natural hair and have chosen to wear locz as my freedom of expression .. thats how it is ..

holla