...
What does it matter that love is lost?
Love is a song that trembles in the air and is caught by another. Love is a sweet melody that haunts those that like your singing. Let it go, and it will come again in another form. If you don't let it go, it can never return, for a vessel that is full cannot be filled. But a vessel that is empty can be filled with rich new wine that you never tasted before.
And the new wine doesn't destroy the memory of the old, but enriches your palate and your sense of having lived much. Unused palates don't know good wine from bad.
So, my weeping dear, come with me on the adventures across these mountians and let us both sing of our lovely loves lost that will come again from our singing. If you have emptied yourself in rich loving you will be ready for richer loving still. For loving is one of the most beautiful labours that ever the heart invented.
But what does labour create, what does it do? Does it make you rich, does it farm your lands, does it make a painting, does it make you famous, does it make you beautiful? It does all these things, but it does something better still - it makes a life, it sweetens a road travelled, it charms time, and gives us much to think about when the journey is ended. Yes, my dear, loving makes a life, it makes a melody of a life, which the soul goes on singing long after the sun has set.
So let us go, singing of our love, and not be afraid that we have lost it, but glad that we once were loved, and once were happy. For, what with living and dying, our happiness will prove to be the brightest place in the painting.
Lets leave this shade and set out for the festivities, where we are young again.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
November
I met him one November. Think about it. November. Even the month itself abounds in mystery. When I think about it now, I realize that I really didn't meet him. I'm not even sure what you would call our acquaintance. Maybe fate. Definitely a precedent for the future.
It was late and I was making my way home, through the fields that lay between the Vicar's house and ours. I first spied him between the trees that lay at the edge of the surrounding grove. At first glance all I could see was a tall dark shadow of a man. My heart jumped, yet I continued to walk. I passed the area where he had been and walked quickly beyond the vicinity. I entered the scruff of foliage at the edge of the fields and passed quickly through it to the next stretch of pasture. As I entered the circle of grass, I stopped to pull my cloak tighter around my shoulders. The November wind was a bitter one. I bowed my head for a moment as I adjusted my clothing, and when I looked back up, there he was. In front of me, not more than ten feet away, the shadow man.
I was struck first by his extreme pallor, accentuated by his ruby lips. His hair was slicked back, away from his ghostly countenance.
Don't look into his eyes, something whispered in my ear. Perhaps my conscience, perhaps an angel of some sort. Either way, I disregarded.
I lifted my head upward to gaze into his eyes, strangely intense. Black with an underlying aura of violet. He stared back and his lips slowly curled into a sly half smile.
I half smiled back. He extended his hand, and I walked forward to meet his grasp. His hands bore white gloves. I noticed he was a fine dressed gentleman, of probably fifty years. The most captivating aspect of his attire was a jet black cape, lined in crimson brocade.
Our hands met and he raised mine to his lips and kissed it gently, never losing eye contact. No words were needed. We began to waltz.
The beat of my heart provided the music, and the gentleman followed it gracefully. We circled and twirled until the pasture became a ballroom, we two being the only dancers. My heart became a violin, uttering forth the sweetest fragile tune.
The rhythm got stronger, until I thought my heart would explode for intensity of it. The room began to spin and whirl, yet we two dancers kept time with the waltz. Suddenly, through unspoken words, the gentleman asked politely, "May I?"
To which I firmly answered "You may..." Our lips met and I was overwhelmed with passion. Not unlike the dance, the kiss seemed to breathe life eternal. The room spun, the dancers whirled, and my outstretched mind circled them both. I could no longer breathe and tore my mouth away from his. He bent close to my face. I could feel his breath, hot on my cheek. He turned his face ever so slightly and kissed my hair.
We kept turning and his lips traveled down. My cheek, my ear, my neck...
He nuzzled my neck with his cheek and began to kiss again. I was astonished at how such an aged gentleman could awaken such fires within me. I felt his mouth open the slightest bit, as he nibbled ever so slightly. We twirled and I caught a glimpse of us in the ballroom mirror. I was dancing alone.
Then that it happened. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my neck. Vertigo consumed me. I felt a warmth trickle down my neck, followed by an eager tongue. At once the music ended, the beat stopped, my heart ceased.
I awoke in the pasture once again. My cloak was lying bundled next to me.
A dream, I thought. Only a dream.
I gathered my cloak and scrambled to my feet. It had seemed so real. I raised a trembling hand to my throat, only to meet a warm, sticky wetness. I pulled my hand away and in the pale moonlight, I gazed upon blood. Red, dark, my own. I looked around frantically for some semblance of the dream from which I had come, but there was none to be found.
I closed my eyes and seemed to hear the wind whisper unspoken words. I opened them again and found nothing.
I gathered my cloak around my shoulders and began the remainder of my never ending journey.
It was late and I was making my way home, through the fields that lay between the Vicar's house and ours. I first spied him between the trees that lay at the edge of the surrounding grove. At first glance all I could see was a tall dark shadow of a man. My heart jumped, yet I continued to walk. I passed the area where he had been and walked quickly beyond the vicinity. I entered the scruff of foliage at the edge of the fields and passed quickly through it to the next stretch of pasture. As I entered the circle of grass, I stopped to pull my cloak tighter around my shoulders. The November wind was a bitter one. I bowed my head for a moment as I adjusted my clothing, and when I looked back up, there he was. In front of me, not more than ten feet away, the shadow man.
I was struck first by his extreme pallor, accentuated by his ruby lips. His hair was slicked back, away from his ghostly countenance.
Don't look into his eyes, something whispered in my ear. Perhaps my conscience, perhaps an angel of some sort. Either way, I disregarded.
I lifted my head upward to gaze into his eyes, strangely intense. Black with an underlying aura of violet. He stared back and his lips slowly curled into a sly half smile.
I half smiled back. He extended his hand, and I walked forward to meet his grasp. His hands bore white gloves. I noticed he was a fine dressed gentleman, of probably fifty years. The most captivating aspect of his attire was a jet black cape, lined in crimson brocade.
Our hands met and he raised mine to his lips and kissed it gently, never losing eye contact. No words were needed. We began to waltz.
The beat of my heart provided the music, and the gentleman followed it gracefully. We circled and twirled until the pasture became a ballroom, we two being the only dancers. My heart became a violin, uttering forth the sweetest fragile tune.
The rhythm got stronger, until I thought my heart would explode for intensity of it. The room began to spin and whirl, yet we two dancers kept time with the waltz. Suddenly, through unspoken words, the gentleman asked politely, "May I?"
To which I firmly answered "You may..." Our lips met and I was overwhelmed with passion. Not unlike the dance, the kiss seemed to breathe life eternal. The room spun, the dancers whirled, and my outstretched mind circled them both. I could no longer breathe and tore my mouth away from his. He bent close to my face. I could feel his breath, hot on my cheek. He turned his face ever so slightly and kissed my hair.
We kept turning and his lips traveled down. My cheek, my ear, my neck...
He nuzzled my neck with his cheek and began to kiss again. I was astonished at how such an aged gentleman could awaken such fires within me. I felt his mouth open the slightest bit, as he nibbled ever so slightly. We twirled and I caught a glimpse of us in the ballroom mirror. I was dancing alone.
Then that it happened. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my neck. Vertigo consumed me. I felt a warmth trickle down my neck, followed by an eager tongue. At once the music ended, the beat stopped, my heart ceased.
I awoke in the pasture once again. My cloak was lying bundled next to me.
A dream, I thought. Only a dream.
I gathered my cloak and scrambled to my feet. It had seemed so real. I raised a trembling hand to my throat, only to meet a warm, sticky wetness. I pulled my hand away and in the pale moonlight, I gazed upon blood. Red, dark, my own. I looked around frantically for some semblance of the dream from which I had come, but there was none to be found.
I closed my eyes and seemed to hear the wind whisper unspoken words. I opened them again and found nothing.
I gathered my cloak around my shoulders and began the remainder of my never ending journey.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Conversations With Life & Love - October 31, 2004
So I'm at home one nite a few months back, and I started thinking about the 'whole love thing', and i wondered, had I had a chance to sit down and talk to LOVE.. it'd be a sore conversation, but I had one nonetheless..
--
CJ: (takes a seat on the bench watching them play chess) Hey, guys, what’s up?
LOVE: (looks up and rolls eyes) What do you want now?
LIFE: (sighs heavily) Hey you.
CJ: what’s the problem? Every time I come around here, Love has this attitude, I know you don’t like me, but sheesh keep it to yourself will you.
LOVE: (scoffs) I don’t like you!?!
LIFE: Guys, please don’t start again…
CJ: Nah, I wanna hear this. Go ahead. (folds her hands over her chest)
LOVE: What?
CJ: I wanna hear what excuse you have to give me now. (narrows her eyes at LOVE)
LIFE: Stop it.
LOVE: (scoffs) Excuse? I have no excuses. You’re just a sore loser!
CJ: At what? This isn’t a game. I live through this everyday. I know you’re supposed to make mistakes as you go along this journey, but this is ridiculous!
LOVE: You know what your problem is, you don’t what you want. Here I try and be a friend, try and push the scale in your favour and this is how you repay me… like acting like a two year old whose mom caught her hand in the cookie jar!
CJ: I don’t know what I want? I think I made that explicitly clear that day I met you, but you seem to have your own agenda, you and your little bag of tricks, I ever catch those arrows I’m gonna break them into little toothpicks and burn 'em!!
LOVE: You wouldn’t dare!
CJ: (scowling) Try me.
LOVE: LIFE you’re not gonna let her talk to me that way are you?
LIFE (turning away from the convo) Oh no! Leave me out of this.
CJ: Say what? Uh uh, you’re in this ten times over. Aren’t you supposed to teach me stuff?
LIFE: I do, but you’re too blind to see the lesson.
LOVE (snickers)
CJ: (glares at LOVE) What’s that supposed to mean? My glasses are fine.
LIFE: I wasn’t talking about your binns you silly girl! How long have I known you?
CJ: Since forever.
LIFE: Exactly. Ever since the Fates handed me your portfolio. And me and the Big Man Upstairs have been with you every step of your journey. I work off His orders… but apparently you don’t know that.
CJ: (scowls) I know. But you make it hard. I wake in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
LIFE: Hard? How do I make it hard?!
CJ: You give the test first and then the lesson after. You’re simple, its just not easy.
LIFE: (rolls eyes) But do you learn? I show you little tips along the way. I guide you through certain situations I know will be hell for you, but for some strange reason you ignore that. For every step of your journey, you have the Big Man Upstairs walking with you and you have me to help you out. So I don’t see what you’re cussing about. The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
CJ: Well, for one, you let LOVE make a fool of me.
LIFE: What’s LOVE got to do with this?
LOVE: Same thing I’m asking…
CJ: Almost everything with LOVE is easier to get into than out of.
LIFE: Perhaps we are looking at this from a wrong perspective; this search for the truth, the meaning of life, the reason of the Big Man Upstairs. We all have this mindset that the answers are so complex and so vast that it is almost impossible to comprehend. I think, on the contrary, that the answers are so simple; so simple that it is staring us straight in the face, screaming its lungs out, and yet we fail to notice it. We're looking through a telescope, searching the stars for the answer, when the answer is actually a speck of dirt on the telescope lens.
CJ: Quit speaking in parables, will you and just come straight!
LIFE: (looks up from the board game and stares into CJ’s eyes) It’s just a series of trying to make up your mind.
CJ: Why do I even bother? Both of y’all are confusing! To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
LOVE: Wow, she speaks with intellect. Finally, I’m impressed.
CJ: Oh, sod off, you. (gets up)
LIFE: Do not start again.
CJ: You know what LOVE… I’ve just about had it with you. You talk a sweet game, you put me thru so much pain and heartache, I should hate you. I used to think “why torture yourself when love'll do it for you?”
LOVE: (uninterested) But…
CJ: Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart. So whatever you have planned for me, bring it on… I’ll be ready the next time around.
LOVE: (scoffs) Yeah whatever.
CJ: (walks off, then turns back) Oh, by the way LOVE (moves a chess piece) CHECKMATE. (grins and walks off)
LOVE: She can’t do that! What did she, she’s not supposed to… that wasn’t fair. (glares at CJ)
LIFE: (laughing out loud) She got you on that one. (pager beeps) The Big Man Upstairs calls; come on.
--
--
CJ: (takes a seat on the bench watching them play chess) Hey, guys, what’s up?
LOVE: (looks up and rolls eyes) What do you want now?
LIFE: (sighs heavily) Hey you.
CJ: what’s the problem? Every time I come around here, Love has this attitude, I know you don’t like me, but sheesh keep it to yourself will you.
LOVE: (scoffs) I don’t like you!?!
LIFE: Guys, please don’t start again…
CJ: Nah, I wanna hear this. Go ahead. (folds her hands over her chest)
LOVE: What?
CJ: I wanna hear what excuse you have to give me now. (narrows her eyes at LOVE)
LIFE: Stop it.
LOVE: (scoffs) Excuse? I have no excuses. You’re just a sore loser!
CJ: At what? This isn’t a game. I live through this everyday. I know you’re supposed to make mistakes as you go along this journey, but this is ridiculous!
LOVE: You know what your problem is, you don’t what you want. Here I try and be a friend, try and push the scale in your favour and this is how you repay me… like acting like a two year old whose mom caught her hand in the cookie jar!
CJ: I don’t know what I want? I think I made that explicitly clear that day I met you, but you seem to have your own agenda, you and your little bag of tricks, I ever catch those arrows I’m gonna break them into little toothpicks and burn 'em!!
LOVE: You wouldn’t dare!
CJ: (scowling) Try me.
LOVE: LIFE you’re not gonna let her talk to me that way are you?
LIFE (turning away from the convo) Oh no! Leave me out of this.
CJ: Say what? Uh uh, you’re in this ten times over. Aren’t you supposed to teach me stuff?
LIFE: I do, but you’re too blind to see the lesson.
LOVE (snickers)
CJ: (glares at LOVE) What’s that supposed to mean? My glasses are fine.
LIFE: I wasn’t talking about your binns you silly girl! How long have I known you?
CJ: Since forever.
LIFE: Exactly. Ever since the Fates handed me your portfolio. And me and the Big Man Upstairs have been with you every step of your journey. I work off His orders… but apparently you don’t know that.
CJ: (scowls) I know. But you make it hard. I wake in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
LIFE: Hard? How do I make it hard?!
CJ: You give the test first and then the lesson after. You’re simple, its just not easy.
LIFE: (rolls eyes) But do you learn? I show you little tips along the way. I guide you through certain situations I know will be hell for you, but for some strange reason you ignore that. For every step of your journey, you have the Big Man Upstairs walking with you and you have me to help you out. So I don’t see what you’re cussing about. The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
CJ: Well, for one, you let LOVE make a fool of me.
LIFE: What’s LOVE got to do with this?
LOVE: Same thing I’m asking…
CJ: Almost everything with LOVE is easier to get into than out of.
LIFE: Perhaps we are looking at this from a wrong perspective; this search for the truth, the meaning of life, the reason of the Big Man Upstairs. We all have this mindset that the answers are so complex and so vast that it is almost impossible to comprehend. I think, on the contrary, that the answers are so simple; so simple that it is staring us straight in the face, screaming its lungs out, and yet we fail to notice it. We're looking through a telescope, searching the stars for the answer, when the answer is actually a speck of dirt on the telescope lens.
CJ: Quit speaking in parables, will you and just come straight!
LIFE: (looks up from the board game and stares into CJ’s eyes) It’s just a series of trying to make up your mind.
CJ: Why do I even bother? Both of y’all are confusing! To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
LOVE: Wow, she speaks with intellect. Finally, I’m impressed.
CJ: Oh, sod off, you. (gets up)
LIFE: Do not start again.
CJ: You know what LOVE… I’ve just about had it with you. You talk a sweet game, you put me thru so much pain and heartache, I should hate you. I used to think “why torture yourself when love'll do it for you?”
LOVE: (uninterested) But…
CJ: Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart. So whatever you have planned for me, bring it on… I’ll be ready the next time around.
LOVE: (scoffs) Yeah whatever.
CJ: (walks off, then turns back) Oh, by the way LOVE (moves a chess piece) CHECKMATE. (grins and walks off)
LIFE: (laughing out loud) She got you on that one. (pager beeps) The Big Man Upstairs calls; come on.
--
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
My Penseive..
He's that one thought that's bugging me.. that what if..
I know my thoughts shouldnt be about him, but still I cant help it. I'll see him standing, talking, and my mind wanders.. I'll see him chilling, and my mind goes back to that day.. and I see him laughing, and I get chills. Reminiscing about what was, or didn't get to be, or what never will be, isnt healthy, right? Everyone tells me to ignore it than dwell on the circumstances, but shoot.. easier said than done.
Sometimes I doubt my 'emotional stronglhold' (so to speak) .. and I don't want to blame failed relationships and friendships on that, because I had control over my emotions at all times, but things never worked out. Its not that I dont trust enough, or care enough.. the question is ..who. Who do I care for? Me? Or them? Am I doing this to make them happy? Or is it to make me happy? But how do I know that I'm happy? And to what extent, how far do I go to sacrifice something, anything for anyone's happiness?
I'm young, but I'm not getting any older. Times I think of what it'd be like to have that person to hug me when my days' been a mess, as they always are.. sitting on the couch, my legs in his lap, he tickling my feet with a flower or feather, just because.. him combing my hair for me on a saturday, its a lazy day, who cares what i look like, but regardless I know that dimple in his left cheek is there just cuz I made him laugh, or we had a pillow fight, and I won.. his laughter rich and hearty, giving me those chills that multiply when he kisses right.. on .. my.. neck.
I'm sighing now, cuz I love music, I love writing, and I love reading.. and I imagine that feeling I get when I read a new story, when i hear a new song, or finally got that piece on the piano locked! finally! ((((LOL))) or when I pen a poem, or a short story, just cuz I had some time to kill, and figured 'what the hell'..
Yeah.. I like that.
That makes me feel good, makes me feel happy, something that a peanut-butter-&-jelly sandwich can only attempt to make me feel good. And I wonder, I can't explain love.. not even close, but I'm eager to know,learn, experience, understand what it is, what it feels like.. I can only say it grows from each day's birth, when all my thoughts are filled with wanting to know that he's happy, and him in my arms can give me butterflies and chills, and that when my eyes delve into the 'dappled pools of honey, that swirls with mischief and laughter' .. his eyes.. that love is easier said than done..
*sigh*
I know my thoughts shouldnt be about him, but still I cant help it. I'll see him standing, talking, and my mind wanders.. I'll see him chilling, and my mind goes back to that day.. and I see him laughing, and I get chills. Reminiscing about what was, or didn't get to be, or what never will be, isnt healthy, right? Everyone tells me to ignore it than dwell on the circumstances, but shoot.. easier said than done.
Sometimes I doubt my 'emotional stronglhold' (so to speak) .. and I don't want to blame failed relationships and friendships on that, because I had control over my emotions at all times, but things never worked out. Its not that I dont trust enough, or care enough.. the question is ..who. Who do I care for? Me? Or them? Am I doing this to make them happy? Or is it to make me happy? But how do I know that I'm happy? And to what extent, how far do I go to sacrifice something, anything for anyone's happiness?
I'm young, but I'm not getting any older. Times I think of what it'd be like to have that person to hug me when my days' been a mess, as they always are.. sitting on the couch, my legs in his lap, he tickling my feet with a flower or feather, just because.. him combing my hair for me on a saturday, its a lazy day, who cares what i look like, but regardless I know that dimple in his left cheek is there just cuz I made him laugh, or we had a pillow fight, and I won.. his laughter rich and hearty, giving me those chills that multiply when he kisses right.. on .. my.. neck.
I'm sighing now, cuz I love music, I love writing, and I love reading.. and I imagine that feeling I get when I read a new story, when i hear a new song, or finally got that piece on the piano locked! finally! ((((LOL))) or when I pen a poem, or a short story, just cuz I had some time to kill, and figured 'what the hell'..
Yeah.. I like that.
That makes me feel good, makes me feel happy, something that a peanut-butter-&-jelly sandwich can only attempt to make me feel good. And I wonder, I can't explain love.. not even close, but I'm eager to know,learn, experience, understand what it is, what it feels like.. I can only say it grows from each day's birth, when all my thoughts are filled with wanting to know that he's happy, and him in my arms can give me butterflies and chills, and that when my eyes delve into the 'dappled pools of honey, that swirls with mischief and laughter' .. his eyes.. that love is easier said than done..
*sigh*
(untitled)
i can see him
i can breathe him..
but i can't touch him
i can close my eyes and picture the laugh lines on his face..
that dimple in his left cheek
so deep that when i kiss him, my tongue yearns to dip into that groove..
His fingers are soft, his nails short
but his palms are rough..
they give me shivers, when they touch me, there
His eyes are seeking, I don't know if its truth or wonder..
disbelief..
ever alert..
several shades of brown,
they threaten to hypnotize..
His lips, smooth..
soft and kissable..
that subtle grin that pulls
that dimple when he smiles.
I open my eyes to watch him..
But i know he's not aware of me.
i wonder if he feels my gaze on him
He makes no effot to turn around
and face me, none..
His fingers so deft, moving across the keyboard
my body tingles as i remember that touch..
his touch as he travels up my arm,
along my chest, and tips my chin up
gently towards his, slowly..
so i can gaze into those dappled pools of honey..
my eyes flicker to his lips
i am distracted momentarily
his grin appears though his eyes are dark..
brookding.
My knees shake, and his arm reaches out to catch me
sending goosebumps racing along my arm.
i awake from my reverie, biting my lips and panting slowly..
a single tear travels down my cheek
and falls on the words i had penned in my flashback
more follow as i remember
now i can see u staring at me
ur eyes searching mine
i can tell what u're looking for
seeking for the knowledge that there's still hope
my sobs are more open now..
u're staring more openly now as i cry
i know you're confused and want to ask why
but words fail me, and i don't trust myself to speak
for fear i might utter words i may regret..
behind my closed eyes i see images like countless reels of family films
and i cry harder
the pain is steady and throbbing
a dull ache in the enfolds of my heart..
i open my eyes and i see you
i can breathe you, and i want u
but i know that this can't be..
it never surprises me..
that the worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them,
knowing you can't have them..
i can breathe him..
but i can't touch him
i can close my eyes and picture the laugh lines on his face..
that dimple in his left cheek
so deep that when i kiss him, my tongue yearns to dip into that groove..
His fingers are soft, his nails short
but his palms are rough..
they give me shivers, when they touch me, there
His eyes are seeking, I don't know if its truth or wonder..
disbelief..
ever alert..
several shades of brown,
they threaten to hypnotize..
His lips, smooth..
soft and kissable..
that subtle grin that pulls
that dimple when he smiles.
I open my eyes to watch him..
But i know he's not aware of me.
i wonder if he feels my gaze on him
He makes no effot to turn around
and face me, none..
His fingers so deft, moving across the keyboard
my body tingles as i remember that touch..
his touch as he travels up my arm,
along my chest, and tips my chin up
gently towards his, slowly..
so i can gaze into those dappled pools of honey..
my eyes flicker to his lips
i am distracted momentarily
his grin appears though his eyes are dark..
brookding.
My knees shake, and his arm reaches out to catch me
sending goosebumps racing along my arm.
i awake from my reverie, biting my lips and panting slowly..
a single tear travels down my cheek
and falls on the words i had penned in my flashback
more follow as i remember
now i can see u staring at me
ur eyes searching mine
i can tell what u're looking for
seeking for the knowledge that there's still hope
my sobs are more open now..
u're staring more openly now as i cry
i know you're confused and want to ask why
but words fail me, and i don't trust myself to speak
for fear i might utter words i may regret..
behind my closed eyes i see images like countless reels of family films
and i cry harder
the pain is steady and throbbing
a dull ache in the enfolds of my heart..
i open my eyes and i see you
i can breathe you, and i want u
but i know that this can't be..
it never surprises me..
that the worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them,
knowing you can't have them..
Monday, April 11, 2005
Night Thoughts..
So tonight I had a little chat with a friend of mine, and it seems i was in the dark for a whole lot than what I thought was really going down.. I've been out of the loop since forever.. and i wanted to write a poem, but halfway thru i got stuck and i couldnt finish it..
i'll prolly post it when i'm finished with it.. but i wanted to leave this thought..
Back to the drawing board.. :)
i'll prolly post it when i'm finished with it.. but i wanted to leave this thought..
"The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart."
Back to the drawing board.. :)
Monday, March 21, 2005
the foeglass
I light the many candles, several in each corner
Waiting endlessly, hours having passed
like tiny grains of sand windblown
Longing to feel the touch of your hands
taste the sugar cane flavor of your kisses
The candlelight and sitar song
transport me to other times other shores
where we danced love's tango before
Soon you will join me in the flames
transforming my heated fantasy into reality
I prepare the bath, as I know you desire
warm, with scented aromatic oils
to soothe and caress our bareness
fragrant rose petals to float softly against our skin
Silently I drop the silk robe as the candlelight
plays against smooth ebony nakedness
You are near, my love, your aura precedes you
My body trembles in anticipation of
the flame of your presence, fire of your touch
Stepping into the water I relax and close my eyes
remembering tender firm manly hands
surrounding rounded pleasured mounds
lips and tongue of flame tasting hardened buds
I sigh deeply at the intoxicating memory of
the pleasant taste and scent of your skin
yeaning for the feel of flesh against flesh
I feel your breath at last against my neck
as you whisper oft repeated ancient words of love
Leaning my head against your broad shoulder
breathless with the delight of your nearness
I tremble with tigress desire barely leashed
My arms reaching up behind me
Delicate long fingers entangling themselves in
in the softness of your unbound hair as your
lips taste salty sweetness of neck and shoulders
and your hands cradle round firm breasts
your fingers tenderly caressing their chocolate buds
Warmed by passion's undulating fire,
your azure depths of passion's pools
embrace liquid jade lagoons of mine
causing me to vision fluid primordial rivers
and cerulean oceans of antiquity
flowing in sacred secret canyons of delight
The sound of your voice scent of your skin
touch of your hands and lips
fueling my desire to be one in breath and soul
as your lips meet mine and our tongues
lightly caress in time with the drum of heartbeats
As you step into the water I gaze unashamed
at sculpted angles of man muscles created to
compliment soft satin woman curves
and the beauty of tempered sword
hardened to fill soft warmth of yielding sheath
Your powerful arms surround me
as I glide onto your lap and feel the throb
of your anxious manhood against
rose petal soft guardians of heaven's portal
Embracing, wrapping you, within trembling legs
face to face, lips to lips, heart against heart
Once again I am consumed completely, wantonly
By your eternal fire of candlelight desire.
Waiting endlessly, hours having passed
like tiny grains of sand windblown
Longing to feel the touch of your hands
taste the sugar cane flavor of your kisses
The candlelight and sitar song
transport me to other times other shores
where we danced love's tango before
Soon you will join me in the flames
transforming my heated fantasy into reality
I prepare the bath, as I know you desire
warm, with scented aromatic oils
to soothe and caress our bareness
fragrant rose petals to float softly against our skin
Silently I drop the silk robe as the candlelight
plays against smooth ebony nakedness
You are near, my love, your aura precedes you
My body trembles in anticipation of
the flame of your presence, fire of your touch
Stepping into the water I relax and close my eyes
remembering tender firm manly hands
surrounding rounded pleasured mounds
lips and tongue of flame tasting hardened buds
I sigh deeply at the intoxicating memory of
the pleasant taste and scent of your skin
yeaning for the feel of flesh against flesh
I feel your breath at last against my neck
as you whisper oft repeated ancient words of love
Leaning my head against your broad shoulder
breathless with the delight of your nearness
I tremble with tigress desire barely leashed
My arms reaching up behind me
Delicate long fingers entangling themselves in
in the softness of your unbound hair as your
lips taste salty sweetness of neck and shoulders
and your hands cradle round firm breasts
your fingers tenderly caressing their chocolate buds
Warmed by passion's undulating fire,
your azure depths of passion's pools
embrace liquid jade lagoons of mine
causing me to vision fluid primordial rivers
and cerulean oceans of antiquity
flowing in sacred secret canyons of delight
The sound of your voice scent of your skin
touch of your hands and lips
fueling my desire to be one in breath and soul
as your lips meet mine and our tongues
lightly caress in time with the drum of heartbeats
As you step into the water I gaze unashamed
at sculpted angles of man muscles created to
compliment soft satin woman curves
and the beauty of tempered sword
hardened to fill soft warmth of yielding sheath
Your powerful arms surround me
as I glide onto your lap and feel the throb
of your anxious manhood against
rose petal soft guardians of heaven's portal
Embracing, wrapping you, within trembling legs
face to face, lips to lips, heart against heart
Once again I am consumed completely, wantonly
By your eternal fire of candlelight desire.
Shining Thru..
I am the sexiest woman alive.
I am the tiger of the forest. I move with an elegance respected among women and men, among my prey. I am the chill of the night, the one that makes you run for shelter, and the one you long to inhale.
I am the mystery of the Night Blooming Jasmine, and the electricity in a touch.
I am the natural perfume of a woman, sensed across the miles. I am the strength of a hero, and the innocence of a child. I am the twinkle in an eye, the glistening of a body. I am the romance of Flynn and the look of Taylor.
I am the fluttering inside you as you jump into the sky. I am the brightest shining star. This is the painting of my mind and imagination… Who are you?
I walk on the streets of silence. This is my world. But there is another world, one tucked away inside of me. It has one door leading out, and that is my fingers. My fingers share the tales of many via pen and paper - or keyboard and monitor.
Inside of me is a world of silk and lace, velvet and satin, cool mint and cinnamon heat. I am whatever I want to be, and whatever you want to envision. Raven hair, doe eyed, full cherry lips -Or golden sparkling hair with crystal blues eyes- lips of baby blush... The Asian beauty with ancient secrets and hypnotic eyes, the African queen with stories untold and a body willing to tell.
Voluptuous body of curves you melt against... or the lean petite one you can throw around as you must :)
Read me, enjoy me - let us make love with words..
I am the tiger of the forest. I move with an elegance respected among women and men, among my prey. I am the chill of the night, the one that makes you run for shelter, and the one you long to inhale.
I am the mystery of the Night Blooming Jasmine, and the electricity in a touch.
I am the natural perfume of a woman, sensed across the miles. I am the strength of a hero, and the innocence of a child. I am the twinkle in an eye, the glistening of a body. I am the romance of Flynn and the look of Taylor.
I am the fluttering inside you as you jump into the sky. I am the brightest shining star. This is the painting of my mind and imagination… Who are you?
I walk on the streets of silence. This is my world. But there is another world, one tucked away inside of me. It has one door leading out, and that is my fingers. My fingers share the tales of many via pen and paper - or keyboard and monitor.
Inside of me is a world of silk and lace, velvet and satin, cool mint and cinnamon heat. I am whatever I want to be, and whatever you want to envision. Raven hair, doe eyed, full cherry lips -Or golden sparkling hair with crystal blues eyes- lips of baby blush... The Asian beauty with ancient secrets and hypnotic eyes, the African queen with stories untold and a body willing to tell.
Voluptuous body of curves you melt against... or the lean petite one you can throw around as you must :)
Read me, enjoy me - let us make love with words..
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Cracked just a little..
All my friends say I'm a bit loony.
I'm the kind of girl who's gonna dye her hair green, mark my jeans with whatever thought that comes to my mind, and i'll sing some crazy song at the top of my voice.
Why? Cuz its a lot easier to make a fool of myself than to take a bottle of painkillers, gobble them down, and prolly spend the rest of my life on a machine, cuz I'm brain dead. Not a pleasant thought.
I'm in university. Its hard, go figure! But I'm a whole lot better off than a lot of people out there. Programming, networking and broadcasting class are too much for one mind to take, but in less than two years, I'll be thru.. well, somehwat. Between school and my lack of a social life, me going insane is hardly a plan! But, instead of letting stress get the better of me, I take a few minutes and just dance in front of my mirror with a hairbrush and scream til my brother comes in and plugs out my speakers. A friend of mine said there has to be a balance of insanity and sanity to keep the equation simple. And in my case, I'm teetering too close to the former..
"I'm a bitch, I'm a liar, I'm a child, I'm a lover.. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint.. "
where's my teddy bear!!!! :D
--
Disclaimer: The views on this blogger are just random banter to help me get thru the strss of my life. Not an online diary, just somewhere to prate away in idleness..
--
Seriously, where's my teddy bear!
I'm the kind of girl who's gonna dye her hair green, mark my jeans with whatever thought that comes to my mind, and i'll sing some crazy song at the top of my voice.
Why? Cuz its a lot easier to make a fool of myself than to take a bottle of painkillers, gobble them down, and prolly spend the rest of my life on a machine, cuz I'm brain dead. Not a pleasant thought.
I'm in university. Its hard, go figure! But I'm a whole lot better off than a lot of people out there. Programming, networking and broadcasting class are too much for one mind to take, but in less than two years, I'll be thru.. well, somehwat. Between school and my lack of a social life, me going insane is hardly a plan! But, instead of letting stress get the better of me, I take a few minutes and just dance in front of my mirror with a hairbrush and scream til my brother comes in and plugs out my speakers. A friend of mine said there has to be a balance of insanity and sanity to keep the equation simple. And in my case, I'm teetering too close to the former..
"I'm a bitch, I'm a liar, I'm a child, I'm a lover.. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint.. "
where's my teddy bear!!!! :D
--
Disclaimer: The views on this blogger are just random banter to help me get thru the strss of my life. Not an online diary, just somewhere to prate away in idleness..
--
Seriously, where's my teddy bear!
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