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i can see him
i can breathe him..
but i can't touch him
i can close my eyes and picture the laugh lines on his face..
that dimple in his left cheek
so deep that when i kiss him, my tongue yearns to dip into that groove..
His fingers are soft, his nails short
but his palms are rough..
they give me shivers, when they touch me, there
His eyes are seeking, I don't know if its truth or wonder..
disbelief..

ever alert..
several shades of brown,
they threaten to hypnotize..
His lips, smooth..
soft and kissable..
that subtle grin that pulls
that dimple when he smiles.

I open my eyes to watch him..
But i know he's not aware of me.
i wonder if he feels my gaze on him
He makes no effot to turn around
and face me, none..
His fingers so deft, moving across the keyboard
my body tingles as i remember that touch..
his touch as he travels up my arm,
along my chest, and tips my chin up
gently towards his, slowly..
so i can gaze into those dappled pools of honey..
my eyes flicker to his lips
i am distracted momentarily
his grin appears though his eyes are dark..
brookding.
My knees shake, and his arm reaches out to catch me
sending goosebumps racing along my arm.

i awake from my reverie, biting my lips and panting slowly..
a single tear travels down my cheek
and falls on the words i had penned in my flashback
more follow as i remember
now i can see u staring at me
ur eyes searching mine
i can tell what u're looking for
seeking for the knowledge that there's still hope
my sobs are more open now..
u're staring more openly now as i cry
i know you're confused and want to ask why
but words fail me, and i don't trust myself to speak
for fear i might utter words i may regret..
behind my closed eyes i see images like countless reels of family films
and i cry harder
the pain is steady and throbbing
a dull ache in the enfolds of my heart..
i open my eyes and i see you
i can breathe you, and i want u
but i know that this can't be..
it never surprises me..
that the worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them,
knowing you can't have them..